The Importance of Role Models
Today, my grandfather would have turned 126 years old.
Born on this day in 1900, he lived to be 100 years old.
He is one of the many “super-agers” I’m fortunate enough to have not only known—but been related to.
Without realizing it, they have served as my role models on how to age, age well, and live life to the fullest extent possible—until the very end.
One very important characteristic they had in common is that they never really focused on aging—they focused on DOING.
They maintained a large circle of friends. They worked and volunteered well into their 80’s. They traveled. They read. They played gin and bridge and mahjongg. They enjoyed time with their family—in some cases, four generations of it.
They didn’t pre-occupy themselves with getting enough exercise or eating the “right” foods. They remained active and engaged and ate what they liked (in moderation)—and everything pretty much seemed to work out.
Did they experience aches and pains and the occasional health challenge? Of course. But they didn’t dwell on those challenges. They simply dealt with them.
Not every family is this lucky.
Many have no history of longevity to guide them, because their elders died relatively young. As one woman in her 80’s once said to me, “I don’t know how to be this old.”
The fact is her parents died in their 60’s—as did their parents before them. So, she had no role models to set an example as to what older age could look or feel like.
In her book, “Breaking the Age Code,” Yale University professor Dr. Becca Levy draws upon her research on aging and longevity (research, I confess, I have quoted many times). In a nutshell, she found that people who feel better about aging age better—and live longer. Approximately 7.5 YEARS LONGER
How we feel about aging is influenced by several factors—chief among them is AGEISM.
Institutional Ageism. Internalized Ageism. Gendered Ageism. Ageism in the workplace. Ageism in healthcare. Ageism in the media.
Without role models to counter the ageist messages and images that come our way each day, we have no choice but to believe the negative stereotypes about older age we are being fed by those messages and images.
So if you’re not fortunate enough to have “super-agers” in your life that can serve as your role models in aging, why not look for them elsewhere?
In senior centers. Houses of worship. Through continuing education classes. Hobby groups. Or volunteering.
They have so much to teach us—without even trying. And, I suspect, they’d love to learn from you, too—as long as you treat them with genuine interest, dignity, and respect, of course.
In the meantime, I just want to say, “Happy 126th Birthday, Papa Jack.”
You taught me well. Thank you.
Image Credit: PeterSnow | Getty Images | iStock