Mattering.

Recently, I was talking with friends about an older adult I know who seems to be questioning his place in society.

Now in his 90’s, this man has spent virtually his entire adult life pursuing a career he loves, making important and valuable contributions to his community, and serving as a respected volunteer leader in numerous ways.

So why is it now, after six-and-a-half decades of dedicating much of his time, energy, and financial resources to supporting the greater good, that he is starting to feel invisible? As though he—and/or much of the work he’s done on behalf of others—isn’t valued anymore?

Perhaps it’s a matter of “mattering” (or, as the case may be, NOT “mattering”).

During his talk at the 2018 World Happiness Summit, University of Miami Professor Isaac Prilleltensky defined “mattering” as the combination of two factors:

FEELING valued. And ADDING value.

I would argue that when it comes to a person’s overall well-being, the former is far more important than the latter.

In fact, as demonstrated by my older friend above, knowing that one’s “added value” by making important contributions to his community is cold comfort when those contributions are treated as irrelevant, ancient history, or downright dismissed.

Far too many people these days feel as though they don’t matter.

They’re talked about or treated as “less than.” Their access to vital resources is hindered or taken away. They’re silenced—or their point of view is ignored. They’re made to feel they don’t count—because they are simply not counted.

It’s as if they are invisible.

Such is the case for many segments of society. Most of them underserved. And among them Older Adults.

Right now, government and other public and private institutions seem to be failing society in this area—and failing miserably.

And so, I am here to argue that it is up to each of US to do what WE can to help make our fellow human beings feel seen, heard, and VALUED.

When it comes to Older Adults, those efforts can take many forms:

 Listening. Encouraging. Sharing stories. Stopping by for a visit. Resisting the urge to sigh heavily or roll our eyes when they need help. Asking their opinion.

Holding open a door. Making a phone call. Sending a card.

Advocating for them—especially when it some to their healthcare, housing, and finances.

Calling out #Ageism whenever—and wherever—we see it.

Will these relatively small gestures change the world? Not likely.

Will they change THEIR world? Could very well be.

People—of ALL ages—need to feel they matter.

And right now, that task starts with each of us.

How do you plan to help? Let me know in the comments.

Image Credit: Bryan Ullrich