The Double-Edged Sword

Over the past couple of weeks, much of my attention has been focused on caring for—both physically and emotionally—a family member in his mid-90’s.

Sadly, he has significant vision and hearing impairments—conditions which have left him feeling isolated, fearful, frustrated, and anxious.

My co-caregivers and I have done what we we can to get him the help he needs to feel more comfortable and less stressed, but the fact remains that his vision and hearing issues are irreversible—and may even worsen over time.

As frequently as I write about the gifts of older age, the challenges our family member must deal with day-in and day-out impede his ability to embrace those gifts—a reality I understand.

I mean, how do you tell a 97-year-old man who can’t see or hear that he’s lucky to have lived this long?

Such is the case for millions of older adults around the world right now.

Though some may be able to see and hear just fine, perhaps they are dealing with some other situation that is limiting their quality-of-life: severe chronic disease, some form of cognitive impairment, difficult caregiving responsibilities, and/or financial insecurity.

The fact is older age is often a double-edged sword.

One side of the sword can be rife with possibilities, new adventures, greater freedom, and the gift of longevity.

However, the other can be marred by life-limiting health challenges, financial uncertainty, social isolation, elder abuse, and ageism.

I am an optimist. I tend to look for the positives in virtually any situation. This perspective has served me well through the ups-and-downs of my life.

But I’m no Pollyanna. Though my glasses are now filled with progressive lenses, they are by no means rose-colored.

Which has left me scratching my head quite vigorously over the past couple of weeks:

What can we, as a society, do to ensure that our elders—and yes, our future SELVES—are well-cared-for as our lifespans exceed our health- and wealth-spans?

Is it a matter of passing legislation at every level of government? Of recruiting, training, and more fairly compensating caregivers—including family caregivers?

Is it a process of better educating people about the actual, factual realities of older age—both the good and the not-so-good—which may also confirm many of their ageist beliefs?

Is older age a period of life we must “train” for to ensure we are as well-prepared physically, intellectually, emotionally, and financially as we can possibly be?

My guess is that it’s all-of-the-above. But that’s going to take time—and a whole lot of work.

In the meantime, my co-caregivers and I will continue to do what we can to help our family member overcome the challenges he’s currently experiencing.

Because no one should have to live this way—no matter what their circumstances may be.

And because only then can we ensure that the age-old claim, “It beats the alternative,” truly does.