HELP is NOT a Four-Letter Word.

I am a klutz.

A couple of weeks ago—despite all my best efforts to the contrary—I missed the bottom step at my cousin’s house and fell and cracked a rib.

While there’s not much you can do for a cracked rib except let it heal with time, one of the instructions the urgent care doctor did give me was not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk.

Great advice, as long as you’re not traveling solo—as I was—with a carry-on bag that needed to be stowed in the overhead bin.

My only recourse: TO ASK FOR HELP.

Which got me to thinking:

Why is asking for help—no matter how old we are—such a humbling experience?

One answer: INTERNALIZED AGEISM.

I can remember when, as a younger adult, I felt compelled to do things on my own—because asking for help would have be seen (at least in my mind) as a sign of weakness.

“Capable people don’t ask for help,” I thought. “Successful people don’t ask for help.”

Fast forward a few decades, and I have learned over time that I couldn’t have been more wrong.

While I definitely learned from the mistakes I made when I was younger, I might have made fewer mistakes—and learned even more—if only I’d had the courage to ask for help. 

Yet, the hesitation to ask for help continues to dog me—and many of my contemporaries—to this day. Not necessarily with regard to intellectual pursuits—but most definitely with physical ones.

“Oh, I can lift that fill-in-the-blank—it’s not that heavy.” “I can pick that fill-in-the-blank up off the floor.”

“I can reach that fill-in-the-blank that’s on the top shelf.” “I can open that jar of fill-in-the-blank.”

Be honest. Do any of these sound familiar?

Another question: how many things that you’d like to do—but are NOT doing—because you’re afraid to ask for help? Like pursuing a new pastime? Learning a new language or skill? Mastering a piece of technology that might seem too challenging in the short-run—but could make your life easier in the long-run?

Life’s too short to let Internalized Ageism get in the way of us doing the things we want—and, more importantly NEED—to do.

Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength.

And as I learned on the multiple solo trips I’ve taken over the past couple of weeks, the more we do it, the easier it gets.

Cracked ribs or not.

Image credit: Thrive Global